Accepting Hurt And Seeing The Person As A Teacher—Cultivate Forgiveness
When someone I have benefited
And in whom I have placed great trust
Hurts me very badly,
I will practice seeing that person as my supreme teacher.
- This speaks about somebody we have benefited, who has been our best friend, whom we’ve trusted and told our secrets to. Then this person turns around and does exactly what we don’t want them to do. We feel vulnerable and hurt.
- When we are hurt, it’s often because we’ve held unrealistic expectations of others. Think of a situation in which you felt hurt. Did you have accurate expectations? How did they cause you to feel betrayed, disappointed or disillusioned?
- When we are hurt, it’s because our buttons have been pushed. Our buttons are our responsibility—as long as we have them, they will get pushed. That person becomes a great teacher by pointing our clearly what we need to work on, thus giving us the chance to resolve areas of internal conflict.
- When people we’ve trusted steal our stuff, criticize us, break off the relationship, talk behind our back, stop loving us, or give us bad recommendations, we need to see them as our supreme teacher. What are they teaching us? Compassion. Abandoning expectations. Letting go of clinging to a solid image of somebody else. Patience that gives other people space to make mistakes. They are people just like we are.
We may still take actions to resolve a problem area—but from a space of understanding and calmness.