Bob’s Story—Searching Deeply for Intertwined Patterns
By Bob Wilson BS, DTR
Get to the ROOT causes
All of us are conditioned, from birth on, to have certain emotional response patterns and coping behaviors. Getting to the root causes of specific, problematic patterns and behaviors, such as those that lead to one’s being overweight or experiencing relationship, drug, or alcohol addiction, can be a formidable challenge.
In our search for these roots, we frequently discover them to be tangled and knotted together (see photo). We can cover up the problems, so we are not aware they exist. It may take many years and lots of soul-searching to acknowledge and change the root causes, but unless the roots are pulled up, the problems continue to grow. Here are some examples of challenging patterns that make losing weight seem impossible. You might feel helpless and hopeless about making any changes. Do you find yourself?:
· Being over committed to others and under committed to yourself; which leads you to feeling drained, confused and out-of-control and unable to care for yourself.
· Needing to please everyone else in order to feel all right about yourself (being yourself isn’t enough).
· Feeling shame or low self-esteem, which may stem, for example, from comments others have made to you or the inner emotional wounding from a chaotic family life.
· Feeling unworthy or fearful of success (or perhaps sexual advances), so as you begin to achieve your goals and lose weight you automatically sabotage yourself.
· Staying in an abusive, harmful intimate relationship or work experience because of fears of money or of the unknown.
· Being socially and spiritually isolated and not having your needs for loving, compassionate human support met.
· Living with any chronic health condition condition can promote feelings of anger, frustration, fear and depression. It is essential to seek outside help to assist you in learning how to be your own self-manager. This involves learning about your disease and what you can do to manage it.
· Caring for everyone else and don't have a clue about how to start caring for yourself or have the energy to do it.
To change, you must learn to become a loving caregiver to your inner emotional self. You must learn how to nurture yourself. In this Web site you will get to the root of your weight problem by identifying thoughts and feelings that affect your eating and activity patterns. You will learn skills that help you:
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