Thoughts On Healing and Helping Yourself and Others
If you find your heart, mind, and body reaching out to support and help family, friends, and the world, sometimes you may find yourself depleted and worn-out mentally, physically, and emotionally. Does this happen for you? This has happened to me many times.
Below you will find some wisdom to help you sort through possible options for yourself. May YOU be the recipient of all the love and kindness that you provide to others!
When you find yourself in the midst of emotional overwhelm, ASK YOURSELF: What do I need to stay healthy? To stay in balance? What tools or support can I use right now? Perhaps use Non Violent Communication and just Relax, Observe, and Allow. Perhaps notice Compassion Fatigue.
I encourage you to "pause for your cause" and CONTEMPLATE: Celebrate Personal Quiet Time—Spiritual Connection, The Daily Personal Check-In, and Bob's Priceless Discovery! Contemplate how to Restore the World and watch for the Self Punishing Inner Voice. Perhaps consider a Prescription for Well-Being.
Keep a boundary between others and yourself. Watch yourself and notice exterior events that occur:
What is a healthy way to relate to the woundedness and scars?
Be your own therapist—ask: What’s going on here? Why am I so angry or disturbed? Depressed? Review thoughtfully When Helping You Is Hurting Me and Home Coming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child & Healing Adverse Childhood Experiences and Examine your own mental attitudes. Become your own therapist!
What is helping? What are the actual limits of what I can really do? Perhaps review: Overwhelmed? Too Many Empty Calories?, Resources to Help Guide Your Life Back to a Greater Balance, and lastly Coping With Caregiving: A Caregiver's Guide & Resources.
Ask: Who am I trying to save? Who is saved? Notice everything depends on everything else and is constantly changing—is constantly transforming. Contemplate: Restoring the World, The Four Truths of The Noble Ones, and Change? Who Me? How?
You remind yourself to see the unborn wholeness in each person and trust it to emerge. Radiate out: Radiate Your Light and Love to the World!
You attempt to remember to honor the suffering of each person and what it can teach them. Ponder: Out of Hell, Into Freedom Thoughts.
Notice when you feel great sadness over Earth’s suffering—just stay with it—feel the sadness and then it will transform—instead of going into feelings of being frustrated or despairing over being human. Consider: The Five Daily Remembrances, Examining The Mind, and How To Use The Meditations,
Feel both the joy & sadness of being human.
If you’re mad, notice the profound sadness underneath of it—notice the deeper feeling.
Where do you find YOU? Find perspective? I encourage you to go inside of yourself into your own personal inner sanctuary. Bear in mind: Cultivate Your Spiritual Well-Being, Celebrate Personal Quiet Time—Spiritual Connection, and When Society Becomes an Addict.
Delve into: Therapeutic Help for the Journey.
Contemplate: The Dharma (spiritual teachings) is also a wealth of wisdom. Visit the Meditation section.
To Bring Increasing Peace & Contentment Into Your Life Contemplate the following:
Although you can care deeply for the whole world and each individual family member--each person is the owner of their own happiness. They create what they experience. You create what you experience. You are the owner of your own choices. Your (and my) happiness and unhappiness arise out of your (my) actions of body, speech, and mind, and choices in attitudes and perceptions--and NOT from outside forces. These causes exist within me, you, and others. Everything unfolds according to the law of Karma (sowing and reaping, or causes produce effects). Everything is changing constantly.
Honor the suffering of each person and what it teaches them. It is not your job to singlehandedly fix the world. You can care for all people, and share your gifts, talents, resources--but THEY have to choose to do something. If they consistently practice harmful choices, you have the right to NOT be in relationship with them.
Each person is a collection of healthy and harmful patterns.
Each person has strengths, weaknesses, and limitations.
The area of intimate, personal relationships has been for me one of the most challenging areas of life. I have needed to seek advice from trained counselors, and have read many books to help me understand the wisdom of how to create healthy relationships.
Intimate relationships are wonderful gifts of support and sharing--with family and friends. We practice: generosity, ethics, kindness, open and honest communication, acceptance, setting healthy limits, forgiveness, loving support, and patience.
We cannot change others. What we CAN do, however, is, through nurturing and education, help create an environment that is conducive to healthful change.
Whether one decides to accept what is offered to undergo healthful transformation is a matter of individual choice.
"When you take the
problems of the world on your shoulders, your body
For outside support explore: Al-Anon resources (meetings) at: http://www.soberrecovery.com/Glossary/Al-anon.html and the official Al-Anon Web site: http://www.al-anon-alateen.org/
Sober Recovery is an excellent comprehensive resource http://www.soberrecovery.com/links/resources.html?States=OR&Submit=Go
The Sober Recovery directory lists over 2500 Alcoholism, Addictions and Mental Health-related websites and services in 60 unique categories including Dual Diagnosis, Sober Living Homes, Resources for Parents and Adolescents, Teen Alcoholism and Addiction, Treatment Centers, Twelve Step Alternatives, Narcotics Anonymous, Alcoholics Anonymous, Eating Disorder Treatment, Women's Treatment Centers and much more. Use their index to find help, information and support for you, a family member, a friend or a loved one. Search boxes are located on every page to help you find help fast. And an entire recovery community is waiting to help you on our moderated message boards.
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